Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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