Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
