Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
