my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
