the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
