cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
