i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
