I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
