is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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