if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
