you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
