Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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