My sheets look like a crime scene.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
