Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
