Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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