Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
