Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
