I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
