SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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