and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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