Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
