When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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