I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
