i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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