Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
