genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
