Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
