yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
