bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
