new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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