i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
