operation harelip BJ is a go
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
