Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
