I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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