Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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