u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
only you would photoshop your dick
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
