If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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