so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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