he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
