you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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