I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
