you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
