He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
