I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
