the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
