My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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