he thought i was a dude.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
