got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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