Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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