So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
