ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
