OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
